I Can’t Breathe
2020 has been insane from day one. This week, however, is probably the most painful for Black people so far this year.
And there has been much pain. I’ve always been afraid for my brother living in this country, but when he told me that he, a fitness professional and gym rat, was out jogging the same morning—in the same state—as Ahmaud Arbery was murdered while jogging, I’ve been in a state of fear since. I can’t stop crying. The pain is constant. Ahmaud Arbery could have been my baby brother.
Breonna Taylor and Tony McDade could have been any of my friends. They could have been any of my family members. They could have been me. And George Floyd—I literally struggle to breathe trying to find the words that would be able to capture how petrified—how heartbroken—how angry I am. Because this just. keeps. happening.
While not surprising, there are still people, mostly White, who will find a way to excuse the murder of unarmed Black people. Everything from their racist gaslighting greatest hits like, “black on black crime” and “we don’t know all the facts” and MLK quotes to the blatant fuck it “they deserved it”. It honestly all sounds the same.
So when I, as an avid gamer, log in to play my favorite games to give myself just a moment of reprieve from the exhausting, never-ending racist reality, only to be met with being called a “nigger” and racist jokes about the senseless murders of Black people where do I turn?
I turn to Black gamer communities like Black Girl Gamers just to have that safe space, even if it’s virtual. The women of BGG have given Black women a safe space to geek out, to vent, to just be. And with everything happening, so many Black content creators are giving their communities an outlet—listening to us, speaking to us, standing in solidarity with each other and helping us to maintain some semblance of sanity.
BGG is hosting a Wellness Week, Monday June 1 - Sunday June 7 on their Twitch channel. Wellness Week is a week of scheduled, relaxing games by BGG’s lineup of amazing Black femme Twitch streamers.
One thing that’s been nice to see as well, is non-Black content creators using their voice. Too often content creators stay silent because they don’t want to offend their fan base. They don’t want to lose viewers or followers. But DrLupo, like so many people, are just tired of seeing people die for nothing.
Tyler “Ninja” Blevins tweeted a statement after he and his wife watched the video of George Floyd being choked to death.
He got some backlash from followers, but that didn’t phase him. He’s continued to be vocal about what’s happening in America.
6 Simple Things You Can Do to Help
Of course, talking on social media about it isn’t enough. But it does help when top content creators in our community recognize what’s happening and aren’t afraid to say, “This is bullshit.” and “I stand with the Black community.” But there are a lot more ways to help. I have so many non-Black friends asking me “What can I do to help?” Here are a few simple things you can do.
Stand Up and Speak Up, Not Just When Black People Are Present
As I mentioned earlier, we play video games to escape reality and have fun. And while so many White gamers will throw a fit when Black and PoC gamers talk about racism or even when developers include politically themed stories in their games. But those same White gamers are perfectly fine with racist, sexist, and homophobic jokes from fellow gamers. If you don’t want politics in the gaming community, then understand we don’t want racism in the gaming community. Racism is literally our reality—going to the store and not knowing whether or not a White person will call the police on us because we look suspicious because of the color of our skin. Or having to drive past the house down the road from me with their Neo-nazi flag posted right next to the U.S. flag on their front lawn.
So what you can do to help us is call out racism? Racist jokes aren’t just unacceptable while we’re around, but they’re also unacceptable when our backs are turned. I had a friend, while forgetting I was in her Discord channel, say, “Well, it’s not like I can say nigga or faggot anymore because it might offend somebody. Last thing I need is for somebody to screenshot that shit.” It wasn’t that she thought those words were wrong, which they are, but she didn’t want to offend someone and get reported! Hence, emphasis on the had in “had a friend”.
Listen
You see there is something going on in the world that’s literally hurting us—terrifying us. When we tell you that we are sick and tired of continual, systemic racism, we mean that shit.
Don’t Tell Us How to Protest
No matter how we protest, people will always say, “Not like that!” So, just don’t. If you say you believe in Black lives but that support is predicated on HOW we protest, then you don’t support Black lives. Point. Blank. Periodt!
Don’t Excuse Your Racist Friends and Family to Us
I promise you, we don’t want to hear anymore, “Well, that’s just how they were back then.” Or “He doesn’t know any better. I’m trying to educate him.”
Don’t Tell Us That You Don’t See Color
While it may sound like a good idea, erasing our skin color in your eyes does absolutely nothing to combat racism. In fact, saying you don’t see skin color is a way to continue racism because, for so long, Black people have been taught that our skin color, our natural hair, our natural features, were ugly. And this was so much a machine of racism that Black people tried to assimilate their hair through straightening with chemicals so harsh they literally melt aluminum cans.
This is why the Black is Beautiful, and Black Girl Magic and Black uplifting is so important for us. This world is filled with sooo many beautiful skin hues, from the lightest alabaster to the darkest ebony. Don’t erase us. Celebrate with us.
If You Can, Donate to the Minnesota Freedom Fund
The Minnesota Freedom Fund is a non-profit organization that helps people with bail. They set up a special fund for the protesters of Minnesota. You can donate here.
I started writing this article a few days ago and just couldn’t get past the first sentence because I couldn’t see my screen through my tears. I couldn’t type with my fingers trembling. It physically hurts my heart thinking about what’s happening in our world, but I knew I had to. Ge’NeL Magazine is a small, relatively unknown publication where friends occasionally help out when they can. And I’m so thankful for them and our small, growing community. I’m thankful to be a part of so many communities that provide a safe space when I literally can’t breathe because of the pain of these last few months, and, especially this week.
Please be safe. Don’t forget, Covid is still out there hoeing around.
