GNL Magazine

View Original

How Holy Priests Make Friends in World of Warcraft

I originally told this anecdote in Women Of Warcraft: The Community

In an insomnia-driven WoW session, I was doing the Bareback Brawl in Stormheim. There was a cute little enhancement dwarf shammy there minding his own business. When suddenly, he steals the deer I was about to kill (how could he know). So, I did what any sane holy priest would do. I hit him with Holy Fire, then Chastise and proceeded to smite the hell out of him. He proceeded to try to fight back but he couldn't get my health down. He died, but in shammy fashion, popped back up and kept on fighting.

And just when he was near death again, a demon hunter came to his rescue. A garbage demon hunter (there's way too many garbage demon hunters). His stuns weren't timed very well. Though, he did see my health begin to dissipate. But I'm a fucking priest, bro.

Then, Thugnificent, aka Mojo, my 13 year old, grouchy old man of a Daschund-Cocker Spaniel mix began to whine about, I dunno--leaves rustling or the rain or something. I lost focus and the demon hunter and shammy killed me. It's okay. I had my X'anshi cloak on. Of course, he's trying to kill the shammy now. I wait few seconds. I pop up, hit the shammy with Holy Fire then a Shining Force as they both returned their focus to me. I Chastise then Smite the shammy until he's dead. Then Chastise the demon hunter and Holy Fire. He's dead.

The shaman whispers me, "Hey, that was fun. Dirtydianna, the Undying." And we proceeded to have a good laugh at how, even though I appeared badass to him, I was really just mashing buttons. I made a new WoW friend. But now, I need that damn Undying title. So, with all of that said.....

I want that title. But, as I've recently learned, it's no longer available. Like most things, Cataclysm ruined it.